Sunday, September 25, 2011

Montana Part I (in which I discover Cabela's)

Hey, guess what?  I was in Montana last weekend hanging out with The Wanderer, her boyfriend, and their adorably gentle and well-behaved dog, Caddie.  We had some beers at the local breweries (Bubba got his own stool at one), made some dinner, and went to Wild and Scenic film festival (go to this in your area - it's good).

The first thing you need to know is that Bubba and Caddie became friends right away.  We knew that Caddie would like Bubba - she's friendly that way.  Bubba, on the other hand, doesn't really dig dogs that much.  Dog, he's just not that into you.  Move along.  But.  There is a rare occasion where he meets a dog small, gentle, or sensitive enough that he's cool with.  That he'll play with and not just ignore.  Caddie is one of these dogs.

Check them out actually playing together!


The Wanderer and I took the dogs backpacking Saturday and Sunday.  We tried to head up early and camp at the trailhead Friday night.  First we had to make a couple stops.

#1.  Cabela's for duct tape and something else I can't remember.  The Wanderer wanted to be in and out of here.  But.  This was my first Cabela's experience.  I thought it would be no thing, but I was wrong.  This. place. is. awesome.

For one thing, you're greeted by a giant dead animal carcass.

And they are here for all your commercial grade grinder needs.

This cast iron skillet with lid was not only giant - it was $35.

Vertical stuffer, anyone?

What about a meat mixer?

Utz cheese balls anyone?  This is around the point I fell in love.  Not only do they have cheese balls in a can, they were giant, and made by Utz - from the potato chip company on Mad Men.  If it weren't for the fact that I knew I would down these in 2 days on my own, especially owing to the fact the container was too big to fit in my luggage, I would have bought these.

Ah, guns for hunting.  Yes, I expected I could get that here.

Firearms checkout?  Does this mean I can check out guns like a library, or does this mean I need to pay for my guns here?  I don't know.  But look at those bear rugs.  Are those for sale?

A gun safe.  That I could walk into.  This is where my desire to have an armageddon-style bunker started to rumble.  Yes, I want a giant safe, and a safe room or an underground bunker filled with guns, ammo, water, food rations, blankets, an emergency radio, flashlights, batteries, books, etc.  Someday, I don't think it's unreasonable to think that something very bad will happen.  And there will be marauders.  And they will want my food, and my guns, and my water, and to kill my family.  I've been to movies, I've seen this thing.  And no, I don't think it will be because the Rapture will happen - more like some sort of revolution.  I mean look around the globe, and throughout all of history.  Somebody's always fuckin somebody else up.  We've been in quite a golden age around here.  It can't last forever.  I'm going to be somewhat ready.  

Uh, zebras.  Apparently Cabela's isn't interested in just the things you can shoot on this continent, they're thinking globally.

At this point I hit the Gun Library.  What???  I had to know more.  So I went in.  Actually being in the library failed to clarify what they meant by library.  Can I check out guns?  Is this a museum?  What's going on?  So I asked.  I found out this is where the rare, old, and expensive guns live.  You can buy them.

This on the bottom was their oldest gun.  It is from the American Civil War (which was only 146 years ago people.  See what I'm saying?).

These are automatic guns from like the mobster days or something.  I don't know.

Oh, look.  More dead things.  I don't think it's actually the bear that's on clearance.

This is where I learn to set up a better shot of this dead things diorama.

George Strait???  Why yes please.  You know I entered this contest for his signed guitar.

The Wanderer got bored of this exploration and went to go sit in the car with the dogs.  I got through as fast as I could but I had to at least get through the whole store!

Anyway, on our way out of town (to go camping, remember?), we passed CandyTown USA and she asked, "Hey do you want to check out that candy store?"  And I was like, "Well, is it any good?"  And she was like, "Yeah, there's a lot of candy in there".

Now it must be said.  The Wanderer is not a candy connoisseur like some people.  So while I didn't know what to expect by her judgment of the place, I thought it was worth a shot.

There were bins and bins and bins and bins of bulk candy.  And it was not expensive!  Craziness.  They should call this store Candy Craziness.  I bought one of everything I had never tried before that wasn't hard candy or black licorice.

And then there was this. 

I don't know how you feel about Sixlets but I had deep feelings for them.

And I had never seen big pearlized Sixlets.  So into my bag they went!

The Wanderer pushed me out of this place too.  I spent probably 20-30 minutes there, but look what I was up against...

And I only spent $12.

So then, after 2 hours of unnecessary "errands" in town, we were finally on our way.  To camping.  But then 15 minutes out we saw rain.  The Wanderer called her BF to check the weather and we were going to get rained on all night.  So we turned around and decided to head out the next morning.  Plan B.

As for my Cabela's experience, Mr. Renaissance (who has a Cabela's black card he uses all the time) says we'll go to the one here and get some cheese balls.  Oh, and he's down with the armageddon bunker.


the middleman said...

a) Caddie is adorable!
b) how did the new sleeping bag work out?

Eliska said...

The new sleeping bag was awesome! It was in the 30's and I was PLENTY warm. Arms out of the sleeping bag warm. And it was roomy so there was plenty of room for Bubba also. A total win.

Hoeface said...

I too have DEEP feelings for Sixlets. I try to find them on every road trip, however they are becoming increasing difficult to find at the modern gas station. Go ahead, look. I challenge you.

Eliska said...

I've tried. I agree with you. I've found them once in the past year in a gas station.